I Hate That Time Of Month...

I hate that time of month...the time of month when you have to clean the house in such a way it actually makes it look worse...

We're moving out in little over a month and being the good renter that I am, I'm cleaning out under the fridge, scrubbing out the cupboards...blech.

This is basically a love note to my glasses, pants and family.

This really has been the best week! Thanks to my wonderful husband and amazing dad I got myself a brand spankin' new pair of glasses. A couple weeks after we got little Jynxie, he headbutted me and cracked my frames and we've been too lazy or forgetful to start the process of getting new ones, I've been getting by wearing Kev's glasses which correct my vision just enough that I can make out the lines on the road when driving...so yep, good thing I've had the best little chauffeur ever. Anyway, bringing my story to the point, my glasses are super sweet.

Oooh, I also altered myself what I like to call the worlds most comfortable jeans in existence. Living in Washington, no one has seen my sweet little wifely "cuddle cushion". It consists of a little belly and a whole lotta love handles. Kev and I are trying to make every cent count towards the move back to Utah so we haven't had the funds for me to get bigger pants. Its gotten to the point where I look like a banana that's being squeezed on one end causing me to squish out of my peel. So I took a pair of jeans I've had since high school that had a rip under one of the butt cheeks and a rip in the thigh and with my super crafty altering skill I cut a rip in under the other cheek and cut four lines on the waist band to allow for the tummy. Of course I have to wear leggings or something under them to keep people from seeing my *cough*...business but fashion will suffer so that comfort can thrive.

On top of having 20/20 vision and being able to breath when I do up my button, Jynx has made this week extra special. We took him to the vet and he now weight 10.5 lbs and he has one more vaccination, then he's done for a year! He's a happy, healthy and well adjusted pup. For a few weeks we hit a training block where we couldn't get him to learn anything new or repeat tricks and behaviors he'd previously mastered (including but not limited to house training). As you can imagine we were at our wits end and Jynx was headed for the shredder when I suddenly remembered that there's a library down the street and they'd probably have books on training. After reading a couple of books, purchasing a clicker and implementing a few changes in our training style, Jynx has been wildly successful! He learned a couple tricks in a matter of hours. My favorite....

He learned to play dead after being "shot"!

Ugh...Do you ever run into times when you want to write but the moment you sit down you're just flooded with negative thoughts and know that in two seconds you'll be pecking away a bitter diatribe?

So I'm just going to get it out. I've been neglecting my blog because I have this ticking time bomb constantly tick tick ticking in the back of my mind. Kevin is deploying in a few short weeks. We're going to miss our first Thanksgiving, Christmas and even our first wedding anniversary. I'm thankful that I have a sweet family that's willing to take me in for the 6 months but its hard to think about not having my best friend. I really couldn't ask for a better husband, and he's really getting the short end...oh and there goes the tears so now that I've ranted I'ma switch over to happier thoughts.

Such as... I finally finished that hot mess of a vanity. It took about 50 hours because apparently staining is not as idiot proof as I imagined. I didn't make a killing off it but I got loads of experience and knowledge which is amazing because my Grandma Dee had a waterfall vanity which is sitting in my parents house just waiting for me to cuss and swear at it until its pretty again.


I really need to work on my photography skills...or just remember to take the picture before its time to toss it in the back of an SUV.... but even with the intense glare I think looks terribly cute.

What Do A Peacock and The Clarinet Have In Common?

This shelf of course! I'm so in love with what I call "peacock blue" but rustoleum calls Lagoon. I kinda want to paint everything in the world this color.... And then cover parts of it in tea stained "Introduction To The Clarinet: The Music of Hansel and Gretel".


And remember this?


It now looks like this...


Taaaa Daaaah!!!

How The Dark Knight Should Have Ended

I've been laughing for days!!

One Hot Mess...And I'm Not Talking About Myself

I'm sure you didn't know this about me but I'm a little clairvoyant, and I see plenty of hissing and cussing and perhaps some blood, sweat and tears in my near future. A few days ago I agreed to refinish something for an acquaintance and silly me I think I agreed on a price before actually seeing the monstrosity vanity.


Its one hot mess, I tell you what. It looks like I was a bad blogger and forgot to take a before picture but this is actually how it showed up at my house. Its not that it doesn't have potential to be lovely but between the burn and water marks and peeling veneers there will be...well blood, sweat etc... but who knows, it could be easier than I anticipated. I thought my little sewing cabinet was going to be a lot harder to strip down than it actually was (notice that I forgot to take a before picture of this one, ha). Yes, right now it looks like a wreck but I can't wait to clean up this little dirty birdie with a sleek paint job and maybe some decoupage. Mmm-mmm.


And in true Crystal fashion since I can't limit myself to one or two projects at a time I'll give you another little preview of what else I'm working on. Its a little plastic jewelry box that I scored at a yard sell for 25 cents. Oh how I love the swirls and show girl legs.


Not to mention the creepy little picture depicted on the lid of what I suppose is a picnic or ritual sacrifice where the main objective is biting the heads off live bats...


Speaking of crazy fun crafting and furniture redos, the husband thinks that I should start my own crafting blog because he loves how excited I get and how passionate I am about giant hunks of garbage. I'm not so sure though. I learned about 60% of what I know from other blogs and the other 40% from trial and error. I found out that if I shower something with enough creative insults it'll usually work after about 3 tries... Anyways, what do you think? Should I give it a go or just stick to this her' blog?

A Day In The Life.

Jynx had his first vet visit today, once again he impressed us so much. While we were in the waiting room he'd trot over and sit at people's feet and wag his little tush until they reached down and gave him some scratches. He even open mouthed kissed one little boy... When we got Jynx three weeks ago he was a whopping 2.7 lbs and today he's 4.5 lbs! He's fully healthy and pissed off about getting his shots happy.
In other news, I think I'm broken. I've been to two thrift stores this week and haven't bought one thing... Kevin teases but its like I lost the ability to laugh or possibly I'm just a really big drama queen. I really want to go buy something just to prove I can, but every time I found something I loved I got an anxious sick feeling when I thought about actually buying it. The free listings on craigslist has ruined me!

Hand Wash Only, Do Not Tumble Dry

I Sold My First Piece Of Furniture!!

My little craigslist vanity sold today! It makes me quite happy, I just want to run outside and finish sanding my side table!

Pets Who Look Like Their Owners?

Oh...I think so.

Don't let that sweet face fool you though. We've only had him a week and a half and he's already doubled in size and attitude. He's a pretty sweet tempered dog until he gets bored with whatever we're doing...



See what I mean? He'll play along but when he's done he tries humping my hand. Adorable, aint it?

Dios Mio...

I am one tired little kid today. Kevin is incapable of sleeping like a normal person. I'm pretty sure he dreams of ducks every night. He paddles his little feet constantly. It would be endearing, really, if he didn't tickle the bottom of mine in the process. Kevin thinks its hilarious, who else could tickle me awake while staying fast asleep themselves? Tonight I'm considering tying his feet to his side of the bed...Or maybe he can just wear socks.

In other none-feet related news, I found wiggle room in my sentence. I'm not allowed to buy new supplies for crafts and furniture...but who can argue with FREE coasters? True...they weren't free in the delicious way of dumpster diving. Once upon a time there was a monetary exchange for goods, but since supplies were just hanging out in my closet and I didn't have to break into my big coffee can of nickles and dimes, they're free.

Don't they just melt your little heart? Poor Kevin, patience of a saint, listens to craft enthused prattling with only slightly glazed eyes and he has the decency not to nod off or drool.

Ooo, ooo!! My honey bought me paint for his desk and my vanity. Being the loving, unselfish person I am I started on his desk...I forgot to take a picture before I started stripping the paint but imagine a high gloss chipping, gummy nightmare.

This was during the insanely fun, three day stripping process. Notice and love my hand with the black paste befouling my rubber gloves in the bottom left corner. Stripping paint is really no fun. I know you can't tell, but I'm pouting. Next time I'm perusing G.W. and fall in love with some painted nightmare, remind me of this desk.

But I have to say it cleans up quite nicely with a coat of primer...

Even better with the first coat of paint. As you can tell from the picture we went with a nice masculine shade of purple....Not really though. Its gray...fingers crossed.

Twice in one day...I surely spoil you

So tonight the mister and I are cuddled up on our mattress watching Sons of Anarchy, when...What, what!! Who turned our bedroom into a disco?

Oh that's right...I forgot all about Cops, Tacoma.

So like the sneaky little mongooses...mongeeses?....No..no..mongooses we are, we flipped off the light, raised the blinds and poked camera out the window like a little whack-a-mole. Honestly, we were a little tempted to take this opportunity to go pull the cans in off the curb. Its not the first time we've been awoken to flashing lights, it happens two or three times a week, but tonight is the first time we've had the camera within arms reach because you know we're not getting out of bed, right?

At least our family can rest assured that should anything go south, we'll have a really quick response time from the good ole police. They pretty much camp out outside our house handing out tickets all willy-nilly and frightening off all the would be thugs that want to rap battle on our lawn.

I'll tell ya what...

I'm gonna get good at starting all my posts off the same way...By saying...it really has been a minute. This time however, I have a really good excuse. Multiple in fact! Being married is much like having a tiny kitten be completely dependent on you, if that kitten could produce laundry three times as fast as I can. You've got to keep them clean (and shave their necks, I'm pretty sure there wasn't anything about that in the vows), clean their potties, and snuggle them to sleep. I really do love being a wife, and I can't say Kevin is completely dependent because after all, he does wear pants and brings home bacon... That is what he tells me anyways....

Straight from the mustache's mouth
I find my cute owl makes the stache a little easier to stomach

In other married news, I'm currently grounded. That's right, Kevin is the meanest dad ever (and no, I'm not trying to tell you a secret, remember no one's pregnant). After only a couple weeks Kevin began to fear me and what I may become. Dramatic Pause. A hoarder. Which to him I say, ridiculous! For those of you who doubt, I put to you how many hoarders do you know that have a mattress, an armour, a table and two chairs and a futon to furnish their entire house? So until I can complete 100% of my many projects I'm not allowed to thrift or Craigslist (even if its free!)

So for now, its sand, wood fill, and prime. Rain or shine, I'm outside getting honked at and having strangers ask me how tall I am. Here's a little picture preview on some of the things I've been working on.

These lovelies all came off of the free section of Craigslist


And this is our first pizza!

Anywho, I commandeered the honey's laptop and I suppose its time to give it back....