Do You See What I See? Probably Not, My Puppy Ate My Glasses.

Hello, my name is Crystal and I'm pretty sure I have an online shopping addiction. It started when I needed to order some extra long pants but got really bad when I discovered all the adorable, length appropriate dresses at Modcloth.com. Let me tell you, that was a breath of fresh air. Skirts that cover all your business... I blame the damn youths, with their too-short dresses and too-high high heels. Yes, I am an old fuddy-duddy. I'm considering scrapbooking for the first time just so I can start on My Big Book Of Grievences. Back to the things I like vs. loath...damn youths: Lately my online shopping addiction has accumulated into the need to get as many free pairs of eyeglasses as humanly possible. So far I have found six sites. There are limited frames to pick from, but hey! You just have to pay shipping! I haven't ordered mine yet. we're still trying to figure out how to divy up the swag between the Hubs and I. In case anyone else anyone else wants to try them out:

www.Firmoo.com/free-glasses

Coupon Code: FIRMOOFREE

www.Coastal.com/firstpairfree

Coupon Code: FIRSTPAIRFREE

www.Goggles4U.com/free-frames (this one charges you for the lenses, but they're cheap and if you use the code you can get 10% off)

Coupon Code: 10off

www.GlassesShop.com/first-pair

Coupon Code: FIRSTFREE

www.RetroEyeWorks.com/first-pair-free

Coupon Code: FIRSTFREEFB

www.UrbanGlasses.com/free-glasses-online

No Code Necessary

Happy shopping!! Let me know if you try and love these! We could even be glasses twinsies!!

Chair-ish The Joy

 I'm pretty sure Fall is here. The apples are starting to turn red on the trees, I feel the need to wear slippers every time I have to wander into the tiled bathroom, and the spiders are fleeing from the woods and straight into my basement. And then there is this unnatural need to sand and wood fill everything. It's much like storing nuts for Winter. After almost a year in Germany I got up the courage to cross my fingers, hold my breath and hope i picked out the right paint and supplies...yeah, my German hasn't gotten any better. 

Lately I've been working on kitchen chairs that Kevin and I garbage picked in Washington a couple years ago. We've just been using them as is, they weren't terrible, as long as you didn't touch the duct tape holding the splintering top in place. However, you can only take so much high-gloss, scratched black paint and cracking pink pleather. So after a couple weeks of sanding, wood fill and painting, I have one chair finished and the other one is naked and stashed out of sight so it doesn't ugly up the room. I'll get to it...eventually. I have a hard time maintaining focus. I've also made a Husbands banner, coffee filter peonies, a pillow case and started planning a Halloween party since starting on the chairs. See what I mean, zero focus...

                   

 

Try, try again...and then try some more.

So I've recently started crafting/painting again and Kevin has been encouraging me to post pictures and share my painting techniques so I'm going to try blogging again. I'm hoping my super sweet new toy Kevin got me for my birthday will help. Who knew an iPad could be so delightful. It really is a technilogically challenged person's best friend. Not to brag but my husband is the sweetest. I woke up to a clean house, cake for breakfast and presents Kevin has been hiding for weeks. I have no idea how I'm going to compare for Kevin's birthday. I had planned on fixing up a rocking chair that Kevin is absolutely in love with even though the wood was separating and every time you sat on it your butt got pinched (by the chair), but Kevin beat me to it! It's all uniform and non butt-fondling. I suppose I could still paint it for him, but let's be honest- That would be more for my benefit.

Also I feel I have to start blogging, because my dogs are too darn adorable for the world not to know every little detail. For instance, Jynx has started to go gray in the ears. He's so distinguished now, like Pierce Brosnan before he did Mama Mia! and lost all sex appeal. Ooh, and I'm really hoping having dogs is not like a crash course before children because I'll yell something and flash forward to the day I'll have teenagers and things like, "Willow, stop licking that weenie." Or sometimes, "Jynx! No humping your girlfriend,"...it haunts me.

                                   

A Very Merry Unbirthday Indeed

So I've become quite aware that I'm turning into that weirdo no one wants to talk to at parties because all I do is show pictures of my furry little companion...and Jynx. Ha, get it? ;) Nothing proves this point quite as much as exhibit A:

Jynx's Adoption Day Celebration

Last Sunday marked exactly one year since the day Kevin and I scrounged up all our spare cash and purchased us one discount puppy off ebay. 

I started off the celebration by baking him a little Apple-Carrot Cake

And of course there were party hats...

Do you know how hard it was to get this picture. He wanted a good ole fashion cake smashing...

That's his please face

Om Nom Nom...

Now before you start readying the white padded room, I had my reasons. With Kevin being in Kuwait for our first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, and our one year anniversary and now he'll be in California for my birthday and we'll be moving on his I decided we're going to celebrate what we can when we can...plus I really wanted an excuse to put a hat on my dog.

Bread Dough Rising.

Oh boy... I must say that I'm a pretty thankful for my big sister, Brittney. A few weeks ago I went to the doctor and when I was being weighed I almost died. I hit the highest weight I've ever been! After getting married I managed to gain just shy of 20 lbs. I know what you're think...yes, Kevin is a lucky man ;). To think he always thought I was making a funny when I said I was letting myself go as soon as the ceremony was over. 

So in steps Britt. I let her know what's going on in a lip quivering fashion and she comes up with the idea of working out and eating healthy together. We even went as far as to take "before" pictures. Now...I'm not going to post that just yet, but thanks to my pale complexion I looked like bread dough in a sports bra. 

Since starting I've lost 2.4 lbs! It hasn't always been pretty or easy. After leg day, there is nothing I wouldn't give for a spring loaded toilet seat. Yesterday I was so incredibly sore I didn't want to move. When Kevin said it was time to go to the gym I sat at the kitchen table crying, "Just let me be fat! Please just let me be fat!" See what I mean, lucky!

Ewe-Topia

 About a week ago Kevin and I took our little mister to a sheep herding facility named Ewe-Topia. It was a perfect way to spend the day! It was about a thirty minute drive away but the sun came out right as we got there. Twelve dollars later Jynx was in the sheep arena with Kevin!

Kevin psyching Jynx up to meet the sheep

"Ooooh get em Jynxie!, Get em!"

Have you noticed yet that Jynx is just following Kevin around?

and again....

Jynx just couldn't be bothered to chase the sheep. We ran after the little wooly butts, tickling them when we caught them only to have Jynx wander to the shade and lay down. Could not be bothered. After seeing how docile Jynx was Joe (the owner of the joint) decided that Jynx would be perfect for duck herding...and Jynx agreed!

Just In Case You Were Wondering What Jynx Was Up To...

Kevin has been home for over a month, and about every other day I start snapping pictures going "Ohh, I can't wait to blog about this." Being the super cool kid I am though I tend to forget, so I'm about to cover a full month of happenings. 

Jynx was considerate enough to buy Kevin a welcome back gift. I don't know who loves it more, the hubby or the pup.

Then he takes his sweet time bringing it back

And it would be just too easy if he just handed over it

He's so pleased with himself...

A couple days later I had an epiphany... I can make dog treats in my kitchen with ingredients I always keep on hand!

Jynx took on the roll of supervisor

About twenty minutes later we had homemade milkbones... milkhearts ready for the oven.

They were a hit! Good thing too, poor little Jynx came down with a mild case of kennel cough and he had a yeast infection in his ear. Every trip to the vet cost us quite a few treats. After about two weeks he was back to his old self. Unfortunately the ear drops we had been giving him caused an oily rats nest to develop on the side of his head. A bath was definitely in order...hehe

And that is where I'm going to stop for now because blogger is acting funny... Hopefully I'll post the rest of the pictures before another month has passed....

Danger Frösche Hüpfen

Oh Blogland...Sometimes I fear we're to be nothing more than two ships passing in the night...but then I remember how much of my time I spend on everyone else's blog. However I'm pretty sure my sister threatened physical violence if I stop blogging since...well..since I'm taking my wee family and running off to Germany for a few years. So here I'm with my humus and my crackers that inexplicably make the entire room smell like egg rolls ready to chatter on.

Today is a good day to start blogging again I think. The gut wrenching fear has started to subside. Don't get me wrong I'm very excited to travel but three years seems so long and I have to sell 98% of my pretties. I severely love my things...I know you're not supposed to be so material and if you are you are never supposed to admit it but I've always loved to surround myself with lovely things. But lucky for me I have a fantastic dad who spent some time in Germany. He was so animated while spinning tales of hydroplaning on frogs and he had the most amazing photos, his attitude was truly contagious. I think tomorrow will be a good day for a yard sale...

I Hate That Time Of Month...

I hate that time of month...the time of month when you have to clean the house in such a way it actually makes it look worse...

We're moving out in little over a month and being the good renter that I am, I'm cleaning out under the fridge, scrubbing out the cupboards...blech.

This is basically a love note to my glasses, pants and family.

This really has been the best week! Thanks to my wonderful husband and amazing dad I got myself a brand spankin' new pair of glasses. A couple weeks after we got little Jynxie, he headbutted me and cracked my frames and we've been too lazy or forgetful to start the process of getting new ones, I've been getting by wearing Kev's glasses which correct my vision just enough that I can make out the lines on the road when driving...so yep, good thing I've had the best little chauffeur ever. Anyway, bringing my story to the point, my glasses are super sweet.

Oooh, I also altered myself what I like to call the worlds most comfortable jeans in existence. Living in Washington, no one has seen my sweet little wifely "cuddle cushion". It consists of a little belly and a whole lotta love handles. Kev and I are trying to make every cent count towards the move back to Utah so we haven't had the funds for me to get bigger pants. Its gotten to the point where I look like a banana that's being squeezed on one end causing me to squish out of my peel. So I took a pair of jeans I've had since high school that had a rip under one of the butt cheeks and a rip in the thigh and with my super crafty altering skill I cut a rip in under the other cheek and cut four lines on the waist band to allow for the tummy. Of course I have to wear leggings or something under them to keep people from seeing my *cough*...business but fashion will suffer so that comfort can thrive.

On top of having 20/20 vision and being able to breath when I do up my button, Jynx has made this week extra special. We took him to the vet and he now weight 10.5 lbs and he has one more vaccination, then he's done for a year! He's a happy, healthy and well adjusted pup. For a few weeks we hit a training block where we couldn't get him to learn anything new or repeat tricks and behaviors he'd previously mastered (including but not limited to house training). As you can imagine we were at our wits end and Jynx was headed for the shredder when I suddenly remembered that there's a library down the street and they'd probably have books on training. After reading a couple of books, purchasing a clicker and implementing a few changes in our training style, Jynx has been wildly successful! He learned a couple tricks in a matter of hours. My favorite....

He learned to play dead after being "shot"!

Ugh...Do you ever run into times when you want to write but the moment you sit down you're just flooded with negative thoughts and know that in two seconds you'll be pecking away a bitter diatribe?

So I'm just going to get it out. I've been neglecting my blog because I have this ticking time bomb constantly tick tick ticking in the back of my mind. Kevin is deploying in a few short weeks. We're going to miss our first Thanksgiving, Christmas and even our first wedding anniversary. I'm thankful that I have a sweet family that's willing to take me in for the 6 months but its hard to think about not having my best friend. I really couldn't ask for a better husband, and he's really getting the short end...oh and there goes the tears so now that I've ranted I'ma switch over to happier thoughts.

Such as... I finally finished that hot mess of a vanity. It took about 50 hours because apparently staining is not as idiot proof as I imagined. I didn't make a killing off it but I got loads of experience and knowledge which is amazing because my Grandma Dee had a waterfall vanity which is sitting in my parents house just waiting for me to cuss and swear at it until its pretty again.


I really need to work on my photography skills...or just remember to take the picture before its time to toss it in the back of an SUV.... but even with the intense glare I think looks terribly cute.

What Do A Peacock and The Clarinet Have In Common?

This shelf of course! I'm so in love with what I call "peacock blue" but rustoleum calls Lagoon. I kinda want to paint everything in the world this color.... And then cover parts of it in tea stained "Introduction To The Clarinet: The Music of Hansel and Gretel".


And remember this?


It now looks like this...


Taaaa Daaaah!!!

How The Dark Knight Should Have Ended

I've been laughing for days!!

One Hot Mess...And I'm Not Talking About Myself

I'm sure you didn't know this about me but I'm a little clairvoyant, and I see plenty of hissing and cussing and perhaps some blood, sweat and tears in my near future. A few days ago I agreed to refinish something for an acquaintance and silly me I think I agreed on a price before actually seeing the monstrosity vanity.


Its one hot mess, I tell you what. It looks like I was a bad blogger and forgot to take a before picture but this is actually how it showed up at my house. Its not that it doesn't have potential to be lovely but between the burn and water marks and peeling veneers there will be...well blood, sweat etc... but who knows, it could be easier than I anticipated. I thought my little sewing cabinet was going to be a lot harder to strip down than it actually was (notice that I forgot to take a before picture of this one, ha). Yes, right now it looks like a wreck but I can't wait to clean up this little dirty birdie with a sleek paint job and maybe some decoupage. Mmm-mmm.


And in true Crystal fashion since I can't limit myself to one or two projects at a time I'll give you another little preview of what else I'm working on. Its a little plastic jewelry box that I scored at a yard sell for 25 cents. Oh how I love the swirls and show girl legs.


Not to mention the creepy little picture depicted on the lid of what I suppose is a picnic or ritual sacrifice where the main objective is biting the heads off live bats...


Speaking of crazy fun crafting and furniture redos, the husband thinks that I should start my own crafting blog because he loves how excited I get and how passionate I am about giant hunks of garbage. I'm not so sure though. I learned about 60% of what I know from other blogs and the other 40% from trial and error. I found out that if I shower something with enough creative insults it'll usually work after about 3 tries... Anyways, what do you think? Should I give it a go or just stick to this her' blog?

A Day In The Life.

Jynx had his first vet visit today, once again he impressed us so much. While we were in the waiting room he'd trot over and sit at people's feet and wag his little tush until they reached down and gave him some scratches. He even open mouthed kissed one little boy... When we got Jynx three weeks ago he was a whopping 2.7 lbs and today he's 4.5 lbs! He's fully healthy and pissed off about getting his shots happy.
In other news, I think I'm broken. I've been to two thrift stores this week and haven't bought one thing... Kevin teases but its like I lost the ability to laugh or possibly I'm just a really big drama queen. I really want to go buy something just to prove I can, but every time I found something I loved I got an anxious sick feeling when I thought about actually buying it. The free listings on craigslist has ruined me!

Hand Wash Only, Do Not Tumble Dry

I Sold My First Piece Of Furniture!!

My little craigslist vanity sold today! It makes me quite happy, I just want to run outside and finish sanding my side table!

Pets Who Look Like Their Owners?

Oh...I think so.

Don't let that sweet face fool you though. We've only had him a week and a half and he's already doubled in size and attitude. He's a pretty sweet tempered dog until he gets bored with whatever we're doing...



See what I mean? He'll play along but when he's done he tries humping my hand. Adorable, aint it?

Dios Mio...

I am one tired little kid today. Kevin is incapable of sleeping like a normal person. I'm pretty sure he dreams of ducks every night. He paddles his little feet constantly. It would be endearing, really, if he didn't tickle the bottom of mine in the process. Kevin thinks its hilarious, who else could tickle me awake while staying fast asleep themselves? Tonight I'm considering tying his feet to his side of the bed...Or maybe he can just wear socks.

In other none-feet related news, I found wiggle room in my sentence. I'm not allowed to buy new supplies for crafts and furniture...but who can argue with FREE coasters? True...they weren't free in the delicious way of dumpster diving. Once upon a time there was a monetary exchange for goods, but since supplies were just hanging out in my closet and I didn't have to break into my big coffee can of nickles and dimes, they're free.

Don't they just melt your little heart? Poor Kevin, patience of a saint, listens to craft enthused prattling with only slightly glazed eyes and he has the decency not to nod off or drool.

Ooo, ooo!! My honey bought me paint for his desk and my vanity. Being the loving, unselfish person I am I started on his desk...I forgot to take a picture before I started stripping the paint but imagine a high gloss chipping, gummy nightmare.

This was during the insanely fun, three day stripping process. Notice and love my hand with the black paste befouling my rubber gloves in the bottom left corner. Stripping paint is really no fun. I know you can't tell, but I'm pouting. Next time I'm perusing G.W. and fall in love with some painted nightmare, remind me of this desk.

But I have to say it cleans up quite nicely with a coat of primer...

Even better with the first coat of paint. As you can tell from the picture we went with a nice masculine shade of purple....Not really though. Its gray...fingers crossed.

Twice in one day...I surely spoil you

So tonight the mister and I are cuddled up on our mattress watching Sons of Anarchy, when...What, what!! Who turned our bedroom into a disco?

Oh that's right...I forgot all about Cops, Tacoma.

So like the sneaky little mongooses...mongeeses?....No..no..mongooses we are, we flipped off the light, raised the blinds and poked camera out the window like a little whack-a-mole. Honestly, we were a little tempted to take this opportunity to go pull the cans in off the curb. Its not the first time we've been awoken to flashing lights, it happens two or three times a week, but tonight is the first time we've had the camera within arms reach because you know we're not getting out of bed, right?

At least our family can rest assured that should anything go south, we'll have a really quick response time from the good ole police. They pretty much camp out outside our house handing out tickets all willy-nilly and frightening off all the would be thugs that want to rap battle on our lawn.